Getting started

Is SA for you?

Attend six meetings, check out the brochure titled SA to the Newcomer, and test yourself. In our experience, you’ll know if SA is for you.

Stay sober, one day at a time.

Most sexaholics find the idea of weeks, months, or even years of sexual sobriety difficult to comprehend, but anyone can stay sober just for one day, today.

Get a sponsor.

New members are encouraged to get a temporary sponsor right away. Seek out a same-sex SA member that has something in their life which you want in your own, with more sobriety, to serve as a guide. A sponsor will be actively working the steps, be available to answer questions and assist you in recovery by listening to you and sharing his/her experience, strength and hope.

Go to meetings.

Attend as many meetings as you can (see the Meetings page). Listen to others as they share. You’re not alone if you use the tools SA has to offer. Select one or two meetings you can attend regularly – have a “home” group. Focus on the solution, not the problem. Most SA meetings are closed unless otherwise noted, which means they are for sexaholics only. Family members and friends may contact S-Anon.

Use the telephone.

Using the telephone helps us to stay sober between meetings by enabling us to stay close to the fellowship. Pick up a phone list at the meetings. Ask other members for their numbers. As uncomfortable as it may be in the beginning, make phone calls!

Read the literature.

Read the literature of the program, which explains SA’s 12-step program of recovery. The literature consists of Sexaholics Anonymous (called the “White Book”), Member Stories – 1989, and Recovery Continues. Members are also urged to read Alcoholics Anonymous (the AA “Big Book”) and “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions”. These books are generally available from your meeting Librarian.

Recite the Serenity Prayer.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Use the tools of the Program..

Call another SA member each day. Attend meetings regularly. Read a piece of literature each day. Work the Steps with your sponsor. Take the actions of recovery. Get involved with service work.

Tips on staying sober..

Avoid situations leading to “acting out” (masturbation, sex outside marriage, etc.). These include people, places or things, “triggers”, such as: all forms of pornography, cruising, prostitutes, even so-called “relationships” based solely on sex. Just as new AA’s avoid pubs, so do SA’s avoid porno shops and massage parlors.